"Jangan Sakiti Anak Yatim" - Don't Hurt the Fatherless Child

I had a quite long chat with a friend of mine in the middle of the night in the dining room. Just 2 tired people tried to kill the night, and it happens that he's one of my new friends so that we had a lot of things to be talk about. I told him to be only 30 minutes staying at my house because we need to take a rest to work in the morning, it turned out to be 2 hours long conversation.

Talked about each of us, I think I was dominating the conversation with my experiences such as traveling, meeting new people, staying abroad for 3 years, family, etc. From our conversation that night, one thing that struck me at that time and hardly to forget was his comment about how lucky I am.

I did tell him about my fluke that happens almost all the time in any way from anyone. And it was quite obvious for someone who believes in good luck. He just listened and suddenly drew an assumption and says,

“Of course you have a great luck, God loves you, and He protects you. And do you know one thing? Don’t you dare to hurt the fatherless child. You know why you always get things done smoothly? He’s granted your prayers. That’s why I always be careful with the fatherless children because their prayers are powerful“

At that time I was surprised. In a way, that I know for sure and no doubt that God loves me, I feel it in my blood, in my heart, and in my soul. But still, I don’t know that it’s that powerful (or he's exaggerating! lol). It’s what I’ve been looking for, I’ve been looking for a father figure. Well, He always there beside me even INSIDE of me all the time. It totally makes sense to me, I always see that father is someone who always keep your back no matter what, who will always be the one you come into when you got troubles or when someone is hurting you, someone to complain to, or someone who will highly proud of you when you achieve something great.

And I know that for this whole time, I did that to my God, I have no father who is physically in front of me or even just a call away when I feel either sad or happy. So I did it all directly to him. I did it to my mother too, but what can a single mother do, she’s far away, she’s not 100% healthy to come over, she has my brother to be taken care of, all that she can do is just sending me the most powerful medicine in the world, her prayer.

God really is my father. I’d been angry to Him, felt that life is not fair, why too much disappointment, why I got this and that, blah blah blah. He’d punished me from being naughty or annoyingly requesting too much of things. He’d guided me every time I feel confused. He’d calmed me down every time I feel angry. He’d embraced me every time I feel lonely.

I just realize it now... and I’m deeply in love… :)

For those who still have both of their parents, well obviously you should be grateful for that because that's the most beautiful thing in this world, to have a grand family. However, beautiful for me is about receiving of what you’ve been giving as painful as it is could be, but you still happy with it :)

“God is an experience of supreme love”

Me In A Trip

Finding me inside the trips, I am drowning into some habits that I only realize while writing this blog.


Personally talking about a quite long journey (out of town/out of country), I enjoy the excitement before the journey begins, the imagination of what will happen next and what will I see there, beside of all the plans that I already had in my head. This moment is one special moment of the whole traveling itself. I have never felt completely prepared for a journey to be honest. Even though I love traveling, I really hate packing. I never packed my things and felt so ready before going to bed, and about to have a journey on the next day. I have always met this situation when I have no time left to be ready or to think what I have been forgotten to bring, but at that moment, I have to go. Yeah, now I do realize, I have never felt 100 percent ready for a journey when I started it.

On the way (by car/motorbike/bus/train/ship/plane) is another moment. This is when the excitement lessen, I usually become more relax yet the name of the place (e,g., Jakarta) sticks in my head all the time. The closer I get to the destination, the lesser I feel excited. It is being replaced by the fact that I'm actually in "this place" (Jakarta) and I will  find myself exploring the new environment, the reality in front of my eyes.


On the new places itself, honestly it is the most ordinary moment in the whole trip. Maybe it is because I can't imagine it anymore, I'm facing the reality that (Jakarta) is like this, it's not like what I have been imagined it would be. And most importantly, there's no time to even imagine it. I will be busy looking here and there, asking this and that, and answering my curiosity. It is the reality, what can make you feel excited about it. You can only feel sad/happy about the reality, you feel excited about what you imagine it will be.

Next, is on the way back. This is the saddest moment of the whole traveling, I must say. On the way back home, no matter how long the trips are, I will suddenly feel that it is not enough. I would feel that "oh, I should go ......, oh I should do ......., oh I should stay longer". Once I am on the bus/train/plane I would be quiet and recall all the activities I have done along the journey, including the excitement in the beginning of it.

And another habit is, I rarely unpack. I would just leave my backpack and only take out the dirty laundry, and keep the rest inside. When I need my camera, I will take it from my backpack and I remember about the trip. When I look for my notes and it is inside the backpack, I will remember another pieces from the trip. It will continually go on until my backpack is empty and ready to be in another journey..

The Simple Story

I woke up this afternoon when it was heavily raining. having a thought in mind to continue embrace this comfortable circumstance (oh i looove love love rains) and sleep, I checked my phone in case my boyfriend buzz me to chat. indeed he was! so instead of closing my eyes off, I chat with him which turned out he's busy with his design. losing my urge to get back into the dreamland, I started to shuffle my iTunes and here it is catching my attention to accompany this coziness, Feist & Jane Birkin - The Simple Story


from the beginning, I tell you, it is catchy! I had it quite long time ago but it never attracts me much like now. sometime it only needs a right time, a right lyric & rhyme (song) and a right feeling to complete a moment to feel.... sentimental. yeah that's one of my peculiar characteristic, easily being such a sentimental creature, nostalgic, weak, and whatnot. so it is a right time: rainy time, a right song, then what is the right feeling? I'll share you the lyrics, and even though it is not correlating exactly to my current mood, I find it genuinely representing my relationship or may be any relationship. We all fight, we all argue, we all lie.. and those all started from a simple story..


Feist & Jane Birkin - The Simple Story


The little thoughts came rushing in
Whilst I watched for a sign from him
When all the while was clear as day
That I should go and he should stay


I took his love like it was mine
I squeezed the truth until it lied
It took some time for cracks to show
Should I stay or should he go?


The simple story that you told me
Is a little different than what you showed me
The simple story unfurling slowly
Is if you lay down with a dream
You'll wake up lonely


The fog will cast a certain shade
So what you see is how what's made
it's mark will show you what to do
When hope pretends it's made you new


Love lied
Love lied
But I'm the reason
Love died


The simple story that you told me
Is a little different than what you showed me


The sky wraps 'round the mountaintops
The watch unwinds until it stops
Some things will always be the way they are
And that is how they'll stay


The simple story that you told me
Is a little different than what you showed me
The simple story unfurling slowly
Is if you lay down with a dream
You'll wake up lonely

Hello there :)

surprise surprise, finally I enter this blogging world, which i never thought of before lol.

just to make it clear and short (so that you won't feel strange either), I'm an Indonesian who is practically studying in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I've been chasing this degree certificate for three years and this is my last semester (hurray!). I start blogging to fill my spare time after I finished my thesis (yeay!) as well as waiting for my exams. bored with reading updates on twitter and facebook, I think why not I start to write, even though I doubt about its worthiness lol.

I'm a 21 year old girl who fortunately never caused any big problem that could lose my mom's temper, even she admitted once that she is very proud of me (that's very thoughtful of her to say, concerning that me and my mom's relationship is not physically close). the most protrusive thing that I like is traveling and luckily my mom has never became an obstacle of it regarding parent's permission. and it seems that I'm naturally meant to travel a lot (lol) because once I found my "kid's diary" (you know, small cute pink notes that has been written about daily activities at school or whatsoever) and I wrote "someday, I want to study abroad". can you imagine how a fifth grade kid had that kind of wish? I know modern kids do, but it was a long ago before studying abroad is a trend or common. and in my defense, I lived in a very small village, so yeah I'm proud that I thought about this stuff back then LOL.

So far I've been to 4 countries (one new country every year started on 2007) and I know it hasn't something yet, but I believe I'll be all around the world someday :) I can start rambling about my trips but it will diminish my main purpose: to greet you all!

all right then, so welcome to my blog :)